Birthmother
by sweetlilsunshine
Summary: She is one of the least respected members of the community, one of those who's assignment is looked down upon. Follow a girl who, though mentioned in The Giver, never had her story told.
1. Chapter 1

_**a/n: So I read the Giver and noticed a character mentioned but never really explored. Even though she was a background character, I still thought it would be fun to go into her story a bit. After all, her assignment was a Birthmother.**_

I bit my lip slightly as the Chief Elder began to approach the end of her speech; glad that to my left, Madeline fidgeted also. No, not _glad_, I scolded myself silently, for that was not precise language. _Glad _would imply that I enjoyed her discomfort, and that would've been rude of me. _Relieved_, I decided as I watched her twiddle her thumbs, was the correct word for this situation. I was _relieved_ to not be the only one that was anxious of the upcoming event.

Noticing Madeline however, only made me more curious to the nature of my other group-mates. Where they as nervous as I was? As I was in the front row, I couldn't see much of the others without turning completely around, an act that would've been thought rude. So I settled for those in my row instead, sneaking quick glances at their faces while the Chief Elder spoke.

Isaac, the boy to my right, was focused intently on the speech. So much so that I immediately felt guilty for not paying more attention to the words spoken. He didn't look anxious at all, I noticed with a frown; and he seemed to have no worries about his assignment. It just didn't seem right that I might be the only one who felt nervous. So even though people were beginning to notice my squirming, I didn't sit back as I should have. Instead, I threw another glance around at the others, hoping to see some sign of anxiousness in them.

Asher, the boy sitting one over from Isaac, saw my searching and threw me a reassuring smile. I answered it with one of my own, a smile turned genuine when I saw his fidgeting hands. Relief came to me as it became apparent that, he too, was nervous. I turned back to flash another smile, this time grateful, when I noticed that his expression had changed. Instead of reassuring, his look was now one of urgency. Confused, I shot him a questioning look, only to get a few mouthed words. Squinting over Isaac, I leaned a little closer to see what he said.

_'Pay Attention,'_ I read just as realization dawned on me.

Oh!

Turning forward as quickly as I dared, I tuned into the Chief Elder's words just in time. Madeline sat down next to me, beaming about the assignment I hadn't heard. I smiled for her but couldn't keep it for long. The Chief Elder faced me, preparing to speak me into adulthood. Inwardly, I thanked Asher with all of my being, not wanting to know what would have happened otherwise.

"Now it is time for Inger to know her place,"

She gave me a truly warm smile, though it did little to heal my nerves, and gestured for me to approach the stage. I winced at my name, as it was one I had never truly liked, but did not dare deny her. Shakily I stood up to receive my future, biting my lip as I wondered what it held for me.


	2. Chapter 2

_**a/n: This is one of the many stories I am thinking about deleting, if this chapter doesn't get at least one review, then I am deleting it. The same goes for all my other stories. Now I would really like to continue all my stories, so please actually look into them and if you like them, review.**_

_**D: I do not own any Giver copyrights.**_

"When Inger was a three, we already knew she preferred comfort to work," She smiled down at me sweetly, "Of course we all remember the day she convinced the rest of her year mates that generosity meant giving their snacks to her." The audience laughed politely and I shifted a little where I stood, Where was she going with this?

"As she grew up though, Inger proved quite adept to work, if only unwilling to do it," more polite laughter, "So that is why we elders decided that this girl would join those others that serve our community in such an unique way," She turned to me and gave me a comforting smile. "Inger, you have been given the task of a birthmother," She shoved a folder into my chest and lead me back to the seats, I was too frozen to move properly on my own.

"Thank you for your childhood."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

As I sat at my desk, staring at my unopened assignment folder but not daring to open it, I thought of all that had happened today. This morning I had felt apprehensive going into that stadium, but I had calmed myself with the thought that the elders always chose right. Was it wrong to disagree with them? What had my parents thought, I wondered silently. Had they been disappointed of their older child's career?

Jessie, my brother, was riding on his shiny new bike like a pro, shooting down the street around our dwelling with his friends. I thought I heard one of his friends tease him of his supposed lack of skill, "Jessie!" He called, laughing, "Shouldn't we have kept those training wheels on? This _is_ our first time after all!" They were all still laughing as they passed our dwelling by, probably heading to the river to enjoy the rest of their holiday.

I wondered what I would say when it came time for evening meal, or when it came time for Feelings? Could a new twelve feel disappointment at her career, I didn't know, I had been told it rarely ever happened. My parents were out enjoying the vacation also, though I did not know where. Normally I would have joined them, or joined Jessie in a game of 'Good Guys Bad Guys'; today however I deemed it best to remain here, making this the first time I had ever been in the dwelling alone.

My hands shook in the slightest amount as I flipped back the pale folder cover. It felt like I was unveiling something; something that would change who I was. There wasn't much inside, only two crisp papers, one a list of rules and the other one of directions.

The rules, which I read first; looked much like this:

_**Birthmother Rules and Regulations:**_

_You are allowed to lie about all work related topics._

_You are forbidden from taking medical aid against the stirrings._

_You will lay no physical claim on any child you produce._

_You will be forbidden from creating a family unit._

_You may lie about all dreams related to stirrings._

_You will never be allowed to apply for a child._

Were all rules this confusing, I wondered as I reread them twice, for a third time, and again for a forth. They just didn't make sense, some were just confusing, but there were a few in there that were terrifying to me. What did they mean by '_you may lie_'? Of course they were specific with _what_ may be lied about, but it scared me nonetheless. All my life I had been scolded for any sentence I uttered that may or may not have been taken as a lie. Was this common amongst the rules for twelves? Was '_you may lie_' written in every one of those folders I had seen today.

I shivered, it was not pleasant to think of the results of such a rule.

The other rules however were not frightening so much as they were odd. Why would I be forbidden from a family, or a child, or even from the stirrings pill? And why would I want to _keep_ the child that was part of my very job to produce? From our science classes at school we had learned how children were born, from there existence in the womb to the actual labor process. It had seemed very distant from me then, just reading about it; not nearly as real as it felt now that _I_ would experience it. At that moment I realized that it had never been explained _how_ the birthmothers became pregnant, only that it involved males because birthfathers were also needed. Would whatever this process be help me to understand these rules?

Sighing and shaking my head to be rid of the confusion, I slowly turned to the next and final page; silently willing it to be of more sense.

It was, I sighed with relief as I realized that all it detailed was the location of the birthing how and when exactly to arrive each day. There was also specific instructions to how long my apprenticeship would take, who my mentor was assigned to be, and when my first birth-making session was scheduled to be. The last one I gave a strange look, now_ that_ was a term I had never heard before. _Birth-making session? _I gave the date beside it a quick look, pleased to see that I would discover its meaning quite a long time from today; the day after my apprenticeship ended to be specific.

And even though birthmothers had the shortest of apprenticeships, four years was still quite a longways away.

From the front entrance I heard the door open and my family march through, Jessie apparently chatting adamantly about his new bike.

"It's so fast," He bragged, causing me to grin as our mother chided him for the act. Getting up from my position, I swung the folder shut and slid it in neatly between the rule books on my shelf. As I entered the main living area I found my father already setting up the evening meal and mother still half way through her gentle scoldings.

". . . know your bike is made exactly the same as my bicycle, your fathers bicycle and all the others." It is not faster, bigger, or better. To say it is is a lie."

Jessie nodded solemnly, "I apologize for lying."

She nodded, "I accept your apology Jessie."

It was then that she noticed that I had entered the room. "Hello Inger!" I winced, mother had never called me the nickname I preferred, _Ina_. "I congratulate you on you assignment, Birthmother is a valuable career in our community."

"It was the logical choice," Father added in from the eating area. "You never seemed to be one for hard work."

Only Jessie seemed to notice the irony in my parent's words, as he gave me an understanding smile. We both knew that only last week my parent's had called being a birthmother a _lower profession._ Of course now that I was one they could no longer say such things to my face, if they did it would be rude, adults must never allow themselves to be rude.

"After your births are done you will become a laborer," Father said pleasantly, though I got the sense he was pointing something out.

"Another valuable profession," My mother chimed, her voice carrying the same tune as father's.

"Ina has always been valuable," Jessie said almost rebelliously, like he didn't care what my profession may be.

I suddenly felt glad that this boy had become my brother.


	3. Chapter 3

_**a/n: Wow, ok now for the next chapter! Thank you everyone for reviewing on the last chapter, because of you guys this story has now officially been taken off death row. Please continue with your reviews for this chapter as you sit back and read the newest chapter of this story.**_

_**D: I do not own any Giver copyrights.**_

I shifted nervously as I swung off my bicycle and parked it carefully in front of the low building. Never before had I visited the Birthing center, not even in during the days of volunteer hours. All of those days had been spent at the Recreation center or at some other equally easy job actually, not once had I stepped foot in this cushy place, I never had a reason too. It had been far from the reaches of my imagination to think that I would end up here. Though now that I looked back on my childhood, it _did_ make sense . I was never an active child.

The doors slid open smoothly, revealing an older woman from within the interior of the center. She blinked at my sudden appearance before slowly smiling an unsure smile in my direction. I noticed a waste bin in her arms and realized that she was probably on her way to dispose it around back.

"I apologize for disturbing you," I told her politely, "But is this the Birthing Center?" I knew very well that it was; I only asked to postpone my actual entering of the building for a few seconds more. I did not feel quite ready yet.

"I accept your apology," She said brightly, seamlessly going through the accepted reply before continuing on into the real conversation. "It is, are you the new apprentice Birthmother?"

Not wanting to sound rude by being hesitant, I chose to nod my head rather than speak.

"You're Inger then?" She stated in a relaxed voice, completely ignoring my slight wince at my full name. "I can tell you what to do, but you'll need to wait in the lobby first," She said sweetly as she gestured toward the entrance and then back at her bin, "I'll get you when I'm finished."

As it always seemed easier to be told what to do rather than figure it out for yourself, I followed her advice and slipped through the wide sliding doors. Instantly I was plunged into a huge rush of people all going in separate directions at once. Many mingled looks of surprise were tossed my way as I chanted out apologies and fought my way to the back wall, knocking over several people on my way. Flopping myself into one of the many chairs situated between the doorways, I finally allowed myself a good look at the room I now found myself in, as I had been unable to get one in the initial chaos.

The first noticeable thing was probably the assistants' counter near the center, as that was where most of the activity really was situated; besides the movements of the rushing crowd itself. I marveled for a second at how much these assistants could get done in such a short period of time. As I watched one of them he seemed to cater to three Birthmothers, a nurse, a volunteer, and ten other staff members. Inwardly I wondered if I could take his job, it seemed much more interesting than my own; but then again, considering this assistant was a _he,_ I doubted we would be able to trade.

After that first observation on my part, I started to notice that there were quite a bit of adjoining hallways and rooms currently connected to this bigger one. And though all of the smaller rooms' doors were wide open, the bustling with people coming in an out made it hard for me to tell what was in most of them. The only one that was truly clear for me was the side room closest to where I sat. This specific one held 5 or 6 girls giggling together in a group, closely chaperoned by a large male nurse. At first I found myself interested in the conversation,as it seemed strange to me, like the girls were giggling louder every time the nurse grew nearer to them. One of them saw me looking and waved warmly, this is when I noticed that there was a rather rounded belly extending from her form.

Instantly I wanted to shy away from her, a sick feeling creeping into my stomach. This was someone who would become useless after three years of luxury, only good for ten times as many years of manual labor. It made me sick to think that I was to become like her.

"Would you like to get started now?" The woman from before asked as she suddenly appeared at my elbow, causing me to jump. "Oh," she saw my reaction and gave me an apologetic smile, "I apologize for startling you, Inger."

"I accept your apology," I quoted automatically in response before continuing on with the first question to come to mind, "Are you the Director of Birthing?" I asked suddenly, the comment purely out of the fact that I had yet to meet the one who held that position. Though since this woman had had the menial task of waste duty, it was doubtful that it was her's.

"No," she told me with a little after tone of regret, mirroring what I had expected. "I'm only a Birthing Nurse," she amended, giving me a look that looked suspiciously like pity, "My job is too assist the Birthmothers in whatever they need, all their comforts are because of me."

"I'm to be one of the Birthmothers," I piped in automatically, though I could instantly tell that this was not news to her. She nodded politely and gave me a reassuring smile. It was fairly hard to tell whether I liked this lady or not really, her action seemed very contradicting.

"The Director actually is in a meeting right now, If you would like to talk to him," She said, this time motioning me into a smaller room besides the one I had been peering into earlier. "You can stay in my office while you wait for him though," She gave me a knowing wink before sweeping out of the room, "No need to be out in the _open_ like that."

For the first time I could ever remember in my existence, I decided that I really didn't like this woman. The way she talked to me, you would think I was of a lower intellect than most. Did she really think that because of my profession, I was now stupider than the rest of society? She had also spoken as if I should be ashamed of it, something that I myself had been wondering only a few minutes ago. Now however, I wanted no more than to rush out of this plain office and shout my new profession to the crowd waiting outside.

However, in fear of being rude, I restrained myself from this action.

"Would you be Inger?" A deep voice suddenly inquired, followed by a tall man appearing in the doorway. Like the girls I had glimpsed earlier, he too seemed odd, like he did not care whether he offended you or not. Was that an unsaid rule of this place, I wondered with a small feeling of dread, where you allowed to be rude? That in itself seemed horrifying, being rude was one of the worst offenses of this community as a whole, why would there be a place allowed to break it?

He seemed to be waiting for something, so I nodded slowly, only just remembering that he had previously asked after my identity.

"I am Gerald," He informed me briskly, taking the seat that must usually belong to the woman I had talked to earlier. "I am the director of Birthing, I was told you would start today." He gave me another look that was much ruder than any he had given earlier.

"You look tough Inger, know that you'll need it."


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/n: Well sorry for the wait, I really don't have a good excuse so I won't give one. I will however make the chapters longer from now on; give you guys more to go on between the chapters and all.**_

_**D: I do not own any Giver copyrights.**_

I blinked in shock at the Director of Birthings words, so blunt that they would almost certainly be taken as rude. Wasn't he aware of his mistake? Why was it taking him so long to apologize, wasn't it clear that I was uncomfortable?

His toothy smile didn't waver as he seemed to register my misgivings, giving out his standard apology without so much as a blink. I gave my reply almost automatically of course, though it was not without noticing how unnerving the crinkling of his dark eyes was when matched with that persistent smile.

Would it be considered acceptable to be _frightened_ of this man?

"Inger, in accordance to your training you will be assigned a senior Birthmother to aid you in learning the basics." The sound of his voice was almost that of an electric current, startling me into reality the moment the words left his lips. I had to remind myself not to be afraid again; I was already being rude enough just by having my thoughts laced with the fear itself. "This is a practice used with many of the other professions as well," He smiled, I shuddered. "Though you'll get a personal nurse too, _two_ mentors. "He laughed this time, I sank back into my seat, "You sure are lucky Inger."

What was wrong with me? I have never felt so edgy. He was only talking about my profession, he was even laughing with me. Maybe it was how his eyes bore into me, like they were sizing me up, staring straight through me and seeing something else entirely. At the thought another uncontrollable shiver tore through me. The Director hadn't spoken again since the 'lucky' comment, instead he waited calmly with that same insufferable smile plastered to his face; obviously if anyone was to break the silence, it would be me.

"Why is the apprenticeship four years long?" The question sounded foreign to my ears even though it was one I had already planned to ask. The words sounded too sure and steady to come from my frantic thoughts; though that could just be me subconsciously being polite.

The Director cocked his head in what was clearly meant to be a questioning manner, to me it seemed rather like he was mocking me. Was I truly just imagining all this blatant rudeness?

"Why do you ask?" He asked with light confusion, "It is a shorter apprenticeship than most professions. I thought that would please you."

He was right of course but there was something else too, in my science class the process of birth had only taken nine months and was a mild process until the labor itself. Why then would I need four years before I could even start the process? "Being a birthmother is simple," I let out finally, seeing that he wouldn't answer my question unless I elaborated "The profession of a Birthmother entitles three births only, why is the apprenticeship so long?"

"Simple," He replied with another one of his smiles, "The process of giving birth is taxing for the body of a young girl. A twelve would not be able to handle the strain. We also wait until another birth is necessary before we integrate a new birthmother into the system."

I blinked, confused. "Necessary?"

He nodded and let out a low chuckle. "Of course, there is a quota of births too be filled for each year. We carefully regulate which birthmothers are used and when so as to upkeep that quota every year."

It all seemed so complicated to me so I only nodded, understanding the gist of his words at least. "What will my apprenticeship require?"

"You to arrive year every day at the time designated in your rules," He answered both simply and curtly, "Both the senior birthmother and the nurse will help you learn the basics of your new profession. You will live at your family dwelling until your first Birthmaking session." His smile changed at the mention of the Birthmaking session, I would call it _sinister_ if I wasn't positive that to do so would be rude. "After that you will live here until you become a laborer."

He stood and brushed dust from his tunic, moving to leave before I could even process all that was just told to me.

"Wait!" I called as I stood up as well, almost forgetting to keep my tone polite in my initial haste. "What is a Birthmaking session? It was in the rules but I've never heard of it before."

He laughed softly but didn't turn to face me; his hand was still positioned on the half-opened door. "You wouldn't of have," He replied bluntly, "Don't worry though, you'll find out eventually Inger." With another smile he slipped out of the room and disappeared.

I was left contemplating his words in shocked silence until the birthing nurse from earlier, or Frieda as she soon introduced herself to be, came in to fetch me.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"How was it Ina? Your first day, I mean." Jessie inquired over our evening meal, stopping mid bite to regard me with curiosity. Judging by the looks that graced the faces of both of our parents, everyone that shared this table were curious about my new profession; Jessie just happened to be the one to breach the topic first.

Sighing, I put down my eating utensil quietly, taking my time to chew and swallow before giving my answer. I relished in the pause as I tried to gather my thoughts into a suitable response, all the events of today already beginning to swim back through my mind. How was I supposed to tell them about all that had happened, the fear, the rudeness, the activity?

_'You may lie about all work related topics.'_

Only present for the briefest of moments, the reminder of this rule burned my mind with a horrible guilt. No, it may be in my rules but I would never follow it. I will never become someone who lies to her fellow citizens, that is a crime worthy of to be Released.

"It was interesting," I finally allowed, holding up my half-finished plate for my father to collect on his way to leave the extras in front of our dwelling. It didn't matter, I suddenly found myself not much hungrier anyway. "It was busy too; there were a lot of people in the Birthing Center."

My mother nodded and made understanding noises. "It's already time for Feelings Inger. Would you like to go first? You could tell us how being at the Birthing Center made you feel."

I gave my own nod at her polite question. This was normal, it was only reasonable that the first day of my profession would warrant emotion. Of course I should be able to tell them what I felt.

But how would I describe the fear, how would I be able to put into words the humiliation of being treated as if you were a lower being?

"Today I felt anticipation to approach the Birthing Center." I started calmly, keeping my inner vow of truth silently with every word. "I felt scared that I wouldn't be accepted by the other birthmothers." Again true. "And I felt. . ." _Terrified, humiliated._ I stopped, unable to say what I knew they would never understand. When they analyzed my feelings they would write those words off as too strong to describe my emotions; for some reason the very thought made my stomach turn. "relieved that it was easier than I expected."

_Your lying._

The words struck like the trains that were stationed outside of the community, or at least like how I imagined one would feel if I was struck by one. The matter itself was small, I realized suddenly; nothing at all worthy of a lie, if anything was worthy of a lie at all. I felt dirty, worse than I can ever remember feeling. How stupid was I to lie only minutes after I made a vow not too? It was like being allowed to lie has somehow opened up a temptation to do so.

I couldn't let it happen again, I decided firmly. Lying about small things would turn into something bigger. I would turn into someone worse, or as I had thought earlier, someone worthy to be released.

There was a shiver of inner disgust as my body responded to such a horrible thought. Thankfully though it went unnoticed by the rest of my family. They were still talking calmly about the solutions and causes of my feelings by the time I tuned back in. I tried to listen as they finished and moved on to Jessie, my mother, and then my father, but soon found it to be pointless. The input I gave to the conversation dwindled until I wasn't talking at all. Still my family noticed nothing.

I excused myself the moment Feelings finished, fleeing to my room and flinging myself on the bed. I was still dressed and had not yet completed my nightly hygiene but for some reason I didn't quite care. For the first time in my life I disregarded the rituals I had performed every night just to sit and sulk. Even though I was facedown, the image of the folder nestled neatly between my rulebooks not too far away popped into my mind.

Were the rules contained in such a small folder really changing me that much?


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/n: I know it's been awhile but I'll try to make this chapter another long one. Hope you like the story so far and will continue to like it as it goes on.**_

_**D: I do not own any Giver copyrights.**_

"I'm not sure if Number 2's too happy with me today Ina," Susan confessed with a pout, rubbing her exposed stomach with an unhappy gesture. "He's been kicking all day, I'm not sure if my ribs can take it anymore. He's cracked six already!"

Sitting back in one of the Birthing Center's plush chairs, I chuckled with mild amusement as my mentor of 4 months made sure to throw up her arms in exasperation. At first Susan's strange and exaggerated actions had both confused and offended me, seeing how some of her statements were obvious lies and could be phrased in more truthful ways; though as of recently I didn't mind her comments nearly as much as I would've before, I couldn't help myself from correcting her small mistake. After all I had sworn not to lie; in my book that included keeping my friends truthful as well. Just because there was a rule didn't mean we all should break it.

"He didn't _break_ your ribs," I corrected, trying to keep a stern face while I bit into an apple that a Volunteer had brought me earlier, "The infant merely caused soreness because of internal movement. To say he broke your ribs would be a lie."

The older woman stretched in a frustratingly slow manner before turning back to me with a sly grin on her features. "I apologize for lying." Only once I had given her the customary reply did she straighten enough to look me in the eyes and sigh. "I swear Ina; you're just like a text book. I understand the correction but you should loosen up some too. I had flashbacks to my school years." She giggled before launching to her feet gingerly, ever careful of her bouncing belly. "Now me and Number 2 are going to take a walk around the center before bed. You should return to your dwelling, the evening meal should be soon." Before I could even reply, the cheerful girl waved and then disappeared into the ever present crowd.

I sighed, shaking my head at yet another tactless comment made by my mentor. Even she had to know that the textbook comment would normally be considered rude; it did bring attention to my flaws after all. Still I couldn't fault the girl, almost all the birthmothers I had met so far acted as such in some way or another. I blamed it on the Stirrings personally, and inwardly hoped that my not taking the pill wouldn't bear the same results.

I care for the birthmothers but the thought of being as rude of them still made me uncomfortable.

As if it was her sole purpose to interrupt my thoughts, Frieda chose that moment to duck her head into the little room that, at the moment, only contained me. She took a moment to search before her eyes finally settled on me, her small frown indicating that she hadn't found who she was looking for.

"Is Susan not with you Inger? One of the other nurses said she was."

As always a slight annoyance shot through me at the mention of my full name, something I never mentioned due to the fact it was rude. If being the only polite birthmother meant that I would have to grit my teeth and bear it, then that was what I was going to do.

"You missed her," I stated truthfully, making sure to be respectful as I did so, "She said that her 'Number Two' was kicking and went to go get some exercise. Maybe she was hoping he would stop."

Almost instantly Frieda's frown deepened, leaving me with the awkward and confusing realization that she had been offended by something I had said. It was as I was shifting nervously, wondering how to phrase an apology for my unknown action that Frieda spoke again, this time with a disapproving tone lacing her seemingly pleasant voice.

"_He_?" Her tone was thick with implications but I, completely in the dark, could only nod at her simple statement. What was wrong with the infant being a male? There was no way it wasn't, births were usually planned to the finest detail; details that, of course, also included the gender. Susan would be privy to those details purely because of the needed medications that those lists also included; why was Frieda so surprised.

"She shouldn't be using the infant's gender Inger," The older woman stated calmly, taking a moment to think before continuing. "She shouldn't even be using the number this birth is as a name of sorts. Remember that these children are nothing to you. You will have no right to them in the future, even if you get attached."

I blinked, why was she telling me this? Had I somehow gotten Susan into trouble? "Don't be mad at her." I finally allowed, looking up at her with wide eyes. "She didn't know."

The nurse gave a sudden, surprised laugh, shaking her head slowly as she began to speak. "Oh I'm not mad. It's simply a warning for both Susan and for you, if you could relay it to her when you meet next?" I nodded so she continued. "I'm going to go find her; she needs her medications before she goes to sleep tonight." She made to go but hesitated as she looked back at me. "You really should go Inger; you'll miss the evening meal if you stay any longer."

She left and I nodded to myself, she was right in more ways than one; and as I disposed of my apple core in a waste bin, I realized I really was hungry.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was sometime during our morning meal the next day when a female voice rang out through the intercom, officially declaring today as a holiday. Instantly the rest of my family became abuzz with a feeling of excitement, my parents because they now had the day off work and my brother because he now had a whole day to play _Good Guys Bad Guys_ with his friends.

Swallowing my bite of egg so fast it was nearly a choke, I merely stared at the intercom with disbelief; realization dawning on me that for the first time in a long time I had nothing to do. It had been a set schedule for me ever since I had first received my assignment back at the Year 12 Ceremony. Every day I had followed school with the Birthing Center, always leaving late enough so there would be no free time before I returned to my dwelling; a practice I know I subconsciously practiced to avoid the looks being an apprentice birthmother has earned me.

I got enough of that when my parents thought I wasn't looking, or when my fellow year mates mentioned me in passing; so what was I going to do now that I had a whole day free of distractions? My first thought was to smuggle Susan out to the river or somewhere but I knew they'd never allow it, pregnant birthmothers were confined to the Birthing Center from the day they conceived; that and her swelling belly would earn us the exact looks I wanted to avoid.

Which meant I just had to deal with it.

Sighing, I rose from the table and started collecting the extra food, not noticing until I returned from placing it outside the dwelling that Jessie had risen with me and was now chattering on happily to my unhearing ears. Feeling guilty that I hadn't heard even a word of his babble, I tried tuning into at least the last few sentences, inwardly hoping that that would redeem me for ignoring the rest.

". . . Marcus and Xavier will want to join too. Maybe even some of the kids from your year will come." He looked up at me with wide eyes and I nodded with a smile, not quite sure what exactly I was agreeing too. If possible, my gesture caused my brother's already wide grin to practically split in too. "Great!" He exclaimed, still beaming. "You won't regret it Ina! Just meet us down by the river when you're ready!" He beamed again before dashing over to his bicycle and shooting down the street, I'm sure he didn't even catch my confused wave before I was out of sight.

So. . . What had I just agreed to?

"You better not leave him waiting," I jumped as my mother materialized at my elbow, smiling fondly in the direction of my brother. "You know how he gets."

Still nodding and more than a little confused, I slowly made my way over to my bicycle's port and wiggled it lose. Even though I still had next to no idea what I had agreed to, maybe it was better than sulking in a corner on a day that was supposed to be a holiday.

Riding smoothly behind where my younger brother had so recently sped, I couldn't help but wonder how fun whatever game Jessie had concocted would really be.

Once I approached the riverbank and deposited my bicycle on the grass with several others did I truly get my answer; it seemed my brother and his friends were already deeply immersed in a game of _Good Guys Bad Guys_, the game already progressing fairly nicely despite how early into the holiday we actually were. Well it seems my earlier theories on Jessie's plans were spot on, I just didn't think he would rope me in as well. Maybe the theory that I'd be separated because of my profession was silly, I took a hesitant step forward, maybe I could play with people that didn't shoot me those looks when I looked away, maybe I could. . .

"Hey! Inger!"

As if my heart skidded to a sudden halt, everything around me seemed to freeze the moment that voice shot through my thoughts. Almost instantly blood flooded to my cheeks and my hands felt the sudden need to wring and twirl, both side effects that I hoped desperately that he couldn't see. He only smiled and waved cheerfully as he and a girl in my year named Fiona walked down the hill. Turning towards him slowly, all I could really do was put on my best disarming smile and hoped that it didn't look pained.

Somewhere below me came Jessie's call for me to join his team but it went ignored. Like it had been for a while, I only found myself able to think of _him_. I had no idea why and it left me utterly confused, but I always found it harder to breath when he was around. Any notions of running to a nurse for help were taken away however when it became clear that I was the only one who ever had these symptoms. No other person looked like they wanted to faint around him; if they found out he might be in trouble.

For that reason alone I had kept the secret to myself; for some reason placing harm to Asher as a higher offence than lying. It was bewildering but it felt so right.

He was upon me now, Fiona splitting off to great a couple other kids that I hadn't seen arrived.

"Nice!" He cheered enthusiastically, looking out onto the now larger game with respect. "Good Guys Bad Guys! Is it alright if we joined?" He indicated Fiona with a nod but it didn't matter, I was nodding from almost before he had spoken at all.

"Thank you." He replied earnestly before moving as if to continue down towards the game. Suddenly he froze, his attention all but glued onto a spot not that far from where I stood. Turning from where I stood in a near daze, the shock of what I saw effectively snapped me out of my reverie. At the same time I took a step back out of pure surprise, Asher called out to the boy who used to be his best friend.

It seemed the Receiver of Memory was also here to play.


End file.
